Helen Hardman
[forum profile]

One of the few Cage inhabitants who was on Tiswas the first time round, Helen (or 'hells' as she's known in our forum) was one of many singing children who graced ITV's finest Saturday morning show.

Well...on one cold Saturday in October 1979 I appeared n the hallowed Tiswas stage in a little known pop/beat combo called The Ramblers (no.1 with "I'm Only A Poor Little Sparrow")...at the tender age of 8...indeed my life's work was already complete having fulfilled my one and only ambition to appear on Tiswas, and to be flanned by the Phantom Flan Flinger!
Call me greedy, but to relive that moment would mean I get to be happy once again!

The memory of that day has never faded, it was truly one of the greatest days of my life!

Maybe I could do like that bloke off VH1 and do a 'Bands Reunited' thing and we could all come back.... :) :)

Matthew Smith
[forum profile]

The most deserving case ever? Hey, it's the story of many Tiswas fans - loads of us wanted to be on it, but just didn't.

Growing up in the ATV region meant that I was in on TISWAS from when it first began. I wrote in numerous times to be in the studio when I was a kid, but just got back the same letter telling me that my application was held on file. I entered loads of competitions (Underates / Overates) in the hope I would be pulled up by my ears, but never won. I entered a competition in the Kidderminster Shuttle newspaper for tickets, but that was won by my friend who hardly ever watched the show! It would be brilliant if an 8 year old's dream from the 70s could now became a reality for a 37 year old. I promise not to hide from the gunge (like loads of people used to do), as the song goes I will 'take it in the face'!!

Decadant Doll

A performance artist and a higher level drama student. Aged a mere 22, this girl was too young to remember Tiswas when it was broadcast, but is definitely a fan due to the clips, the compilations and the appreciation of it over the internet. She's no stranger to mess, having performed in messy stage shows, and was even the subject of a Bizarre magazine feature. When she sent her application in, she commented: "I've put my name forward. If i could put my name forward a million times i would. Oh dear God i want to do this. So bad. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BAD!!" - displaying real enthusiasm. "Just looking at old tapes of Tiswas I feel I was born out of time. I'd have had a ball on kids tv then." We look forward to this Belfast girl going in the Cage - this is what she said when she got the confirmation: "I bloomin well got in! I'm going to be in the TISWAS cage! ...has anyone got a valium...cos i dont think im going to sleep tonight!"

izdaman
[forum profile]

Birmingham-based, this long-time fan of Tiswas and frequent visitor to TiswasOnline has a very strong application indeed. No wonder he was picked...

Yes of course I will say that I'm the biggest stupidest Tiswas fan ever, that's obvious, and yes of course I've still got my Tiswas t- shirt, my Tiswas album, my Tiswas singles, my Tiswas Annuals, my Tiswas paperbacks, my Tiswas ceramic custard pie money box, my Spit the Dog puppet, my Tiswas paper hat, my Tiswas DVD's and videos etc etc. Any REAL fan would have all that!! But...

How many other people can said that they had to go to casualty as a kid because when getting flanned in the face with a pie (in the back garden) he didn't let the shaving foam settle down for a few mins to get rid of the stinging alcohol stuff so had full on red painful eyes for HOURS and to top it off a blue face because of the food colouring to make the pies look more real! Hmmm?

How many other people can say that they swapped an original Star Wars Millennium Falcon AND a Star Wars AT-AT walker (imagine the value of them now!!!) just for a Spit the Dog puppet?! Hmmm? (My mother has never forgiven me for that one)

How many other people (in adult life now) can say that when they moved to central Birmingham they deliberately chose an apartment that was right next door, literally, to the ATV Studios! Hmmmm? It's Centenary Plaza if you wish to check it out on the net, I even have photos of the studios taken from my balcony if you want to see them!

Yes it's me! I'll even dress up as Noel Edmonds so he can be flanned & soaked if you want, oh to hell with it I'll even go in naked! Well ok then with a crocodile thong on, I'll make it look like Posh Paws so Tiswas can get their revenge that way!!

Pretty please with sugar and lunacy on top, let me go into the Cage for the last ever time!

Jenny J
[forum profile]

From Bath, this theatrical performer is like us - a huge fan of Tiswas and Dick And Dom In Da Bungalow - shows that highlighted the slapstick comedy to a full effect. Jenny pondered over applying for the Cage, as she initially wondered if it was an elaborate hoax we had set up, given the April 1st closing date. After assuring her that it wasn't, Jenny spent several days thinking up her reasoning to go in the Cage, and it was time obviously well spent...

I remember Tiswas,
Buckets of water and dying flies.
The sinister Phantom Flan Flinger,
Mess and gunge and custard pies.
I remember Tiswas,
Total chaos and hours of pleasure,
Carefree Saturday mornings,
Memories to treasure.
So bung me in your famous cage,
Please let me be in your show,
It'll be some consolation,
For never appearing in 'Da Bungalow'.

Madame Helen

Put forward by her other half, Madame Helen's application was an unusual one - stating that as a child she could not stand to get messy, and now, as an adult, she still cannot stand to get messy. Maybe the 'red rag to a bull' theory worked in her favour for this one. Or it could be reverse psychology.

spit_the_cat
[forum profile]

This girl is an avid Goldie Looking Chain fan with a wierd (but cool) fashion sense. Currently planning to wear a GLC t-shirt, PVC leggings and New Rock boots, spit_the_cat could be the only person in the cage who is a comedy hip-hop/goth devotee. Although I've mentioned the hot studio lights could potentially make PVC a rather uncomfortable choice.

I would love to go in the cage, because I think it would be fun for everyone to see a (youngish) 37 year old woman, dressed up to the nines with waist length black hair being covered in every disgustingly horrible substance you can chuck at her, the high heels should make things more interesting! Also, I have a 10 year old daughter who has a little knowledge of Tiswas, so she would be truly happy, as would I as one of my 30 things to do before you die would be ticked off!

Thank you for this, even if I don't get in, this show is still gonna be the highlight of the year for me

Natalie
[forum profile]

The youngest member to go in the Cage, having only just turned 18 a few days ago, Natalie is a massive Dick And Dom In Da Bungalow fan and can be seen loitering around Dom Wood's official website forum Blather - a place where the Tiswas Reunited cage idea got a good reception. She was originally picked to be a stand-by for the Cage, but when one girl dropped out, she jumped at the chance! "I'm well chuffed!Roll on 23rd April, 2 whole hours of honorary mucking/gunging/everying-ing, Can't wait"

A keen magician and a former member of the Magic Circle's Young Magicians' Club (due to reaching 18), Natalie's too young to have seen Tiswas first time round, but certainly knows what it's about.

Becuase I absolutely love children's Saturday morning television, and Tiswas, I believe, is the big old mucky parent of all the great Saturday morning shows. I am also a massive Dick and Dom In Da Bungalow fan, and it would be an absolute honor to be on the 'Reunited' programme of the show that inspired this great programme. Plus I'm up for having anything chucked at me in the cage, I'm no Rachael Stevens! This is what..I want!

Gareth Trenchard-Morgan
[forum profile]

Applied throughout the 70s to be on Tiswas, only to get the standard rejection letter, of which he built up a substantial collection! As you'd expect, he was really chuffed when he got the news: "Just had a phone call from Cat at ITV. Can't believe I'm going in the cage!"

As a devoted Tiswas fan, I had the Tee-shirt, custard pie money box, bought the records, books, magazines etc, but never actaully made it on to the show. Throughout the 70's my parents would write to Tiswas asking if I could be in the audience. I built up a collection of the standard rejection letter, which I can still quote to this day:

Thank you for your letter, we're glad you like our show,
One day we'd like to see you here in our studio.
It can't be for the moment, as we are awfully full you see,
But we will keep your letter and write when seats are free.
We do have one rule only, that we have had to have to fix,
To get into our studio you must at least be six.
We hope you keep on watching and think our show a scream,
Happy Custard Pies to you from all the Tiswas team!

The disappointment of the show ending beore I finally got in the audience has lasted 25 + years. This is the chance for my childhood dream to come true! It may not be ATV Land, but there is (for one night) a studio, I am over 6 (36) and lets's see if they have kept their promise and written now that (limited) seats are free!

Please make a 'not so young' Tiswas fan finally put to bed the disappointment of never getting on Tiswas!

Failing a success with this letter, two tickets to be in the studio audience instead would really be appreciated.

Jason Wainwright
[forum profile]

This guy has been visiting this site avidly for a while now, trying to get news on the Tiswas reunion, and applied for the chance to be gunged, pied and soaked as soon as he could.

Rachel Doyle
[forum profile]

Not just a fan of Tiswas, Rachel is a devoted follower of Chris Tarrant and Paul McCartney. So that copy of Tiswas we have with Macca pouring water over Chris in a filmed insert could have been a good bribe to get her into the Cage. But no, Rachel applied of her own accord. She's the webmaster of Chris Tarrant fan site www.christarrant.net so to be within gunging distance of her idol is going to make her very happy. Indeed, she commented in our forum: "I'm in, I got the email too!!!!!! I'm sooooooo excited. Just waiting for the phone call from Cat after Easter with all the details. I'm on cloud 9."

See? We're thinking of closing down TiswasOnline and launching Jim'llFixItOnline instead. "This is a very happy Tarrant day for me indeed!!!!!"

The stand-bys...

We know of a few people who will be in the audience, ready to be plucked out by ITV staff and locked into the Cage should any of the aforementioned people drop out or don't turn up.

DP Gumby
[forum profile]

This guy has been on TV before, re-enacting Tiswas and getting very messy with it. 'DP Gumby' and his girlfriend were The Creamy Mucketeers, who put on a Tiswas-inspired custard-pie-based act for the demented talent show slot Strangely Talented on Dick And Dom In Da Bungalow. Being a massive fan of Da Bungalow, he spent a lot of time sending in ideas and other contributions to the show, such as self-made songs. It was probably down to him that the Strangely Talented slot was created, as the show's producers first let him on in that segment. In fact, he was on twice, his second time being a week before an actual Tiswas star - Matthew Butler - came in on the slot and recreated Bright Eyes.

'DP Gumby' is also going to be in the World Custard Pie Championships this summer. A glutton for messy punishment, we wager.

Jenny S

Another young 'un from Blather, Jenny has got into Tiswas due to the videos and DVDs. She recognises the 'dont speak down to kids' ethos from Tiswas, something shared by her other favourite show, Dick And Dom In Da Bungalow. Yes, you can probably spot a common theme emerging here. It appears Da Bungalow has brought out a Tiswas spirit even in those not around to have seen ATV Land's finest export when it was originally transmitted.

Commenting on her application: "It's a bit rubbish, but hey, if they want to throw muck at me for 2 hours, that's their business".

I'm currently watching that Best Of Tiswas DVD again (Just in case!). It's still making me laugh, even now, but I can't help but wonder if I've taken leave of my senses by wanting to take part. Some of the folks in the cage are unrecognisable! (No, I take it back... that would be fun, if anything... )

John Miller
[forum profile]

Another huge fan of Tiswas, John will be travelling down from Brum on the coach, crossing his fingers to get into the Cage...

because Tiswas was, and is the greatest kids TV show of all time. It was an essential part of my childhood growing up in 70's Birmingham.
I've also had to put up with friends boasts over the years, that they made it into the audience on there, but obviously they were to young to make it into the Cage, so to get in there would be the ultimate accolade in bragging rights.
Plus it'd guarantee my Mom watched it instead of constantly trying to turn over to Noel Edmonds bloomin Swap Shop.

The drop-out...

She was picked to go in the Cage, but sadly for Lisa, she discovered that the 23rd April recording date clashed with something else, so Natalie takes her place.

Lisa
[forum profile]

Going in the Cage is a lifetime ambition for Lisa. Maybe it will take another two decades now... "Pretty much gutted but hopefully someone from here who is on the backup list can take my place and do me proud! Just wanted to say that I hope everyone in the cage, audience and taking part in the show has a fantasic night and I'll be there in spirit if not in body!"